Changes

"The Uber guy thought I was 21 year old", "Why isn't my face fair and white like my siblings, am I an adopted child?", "I need to go to the spa, I tak cantik lah" is pretty much what I say if you stick around me. Being an Anis you can't really run away from being insecure, and being around beautiful hot and sexy humans makes it even more worse - actually being human you can't really run away from being insecure.

I give my highest tabik spring (salute) to people who aren't insecure, who actually embrace themselves. Which is what I'm trying to do nowadays.

Being around a society where white and fair, hairless, flawless skin, plus a thin body are the top beauty standards makes everything so hard for a tanned, dark skinned, crooked teeth me. Why can't drugstores sell tanned-skinned foundations?

I went back to kampung the other by car - it was my first time btw! (nak jugak state tu) I saw so many whitening product billboards. (rolls eyes) It's just so annoying, I mean like its not just the white-skinned living here. Marah ni. 

I was searching on skincare, make up tips for the tanned and I read at Iman Azman's blog https://imanwriteshere.wordpress.com/ after being so depressed about my Raya pimple and dark skin. Which finally led me to changes I am doing now in this semester break. I put her as an inspiration because she's tanned and she embraces it. I would get a R for repitition in writing because I keep repeating "embrace" so much. but yeah Anis. EMBRACE. 

We tend to belittle ourselves so much when the biggest, the Almighty created us with perfection. 

Humans are imperfect, its the art of being human, but changing yourself a bit to fix the little flaws I don't think there's much of a problem to it. Its for the better ay?

If you know me, you'd know how I talk about myself, which often leads me to getting scold and lectures about embracing myself. I love you guys. My mum would usually tell me "its okay you're sweet, you pretty in your own way". She'd tell me to go bathe early in the morning when she calls so I can look better but being a stubborn May, first born of course I didn't listen at times. Until it hit me me now.

So I finally took a step to embracing myself, I'm excercising, (which is something an Anis wouldn't do - trust me) I'M ACTUALLY EXCERCISING! I aim to have healthier, glowing skin and body rather than making it white because in the end, He made me with a bit more melanin so might as well just keep 'em. And I wanna be flawless because who doesn't like smooth skin man? Lastly, I just wanna relax and enjoy this break. This is practically my pledge for this holiday and hopefully it'll last longer.

Changes I made within the past week: 

Never excercised other than playing frisbee - Excercise or do Zumba almost everyday. 

Never ate apple in 4 years - I eat apples now everyday! (because its the only fruit in my fridge, other than lemons)

Don't wear Aloe Vera or masks (read : broke) - I wear them ocassionally. Aloe everyday after shower.

Had no idea about skin icing - Now I do it lah, just wrap some ice in a tissue and roll it on my face in the mornings, it works! My pimple was gone within 6 hours. I wish I did that Raya eve. 

Had no time to do anything I love - I'm watercolouring, I'm blogging, I'm cooking etc. Yeay!

*applauses for seketul Anis because she finally moved hahahahaha *

I just thought, if not now. When else? I'm 19 already, I need to live the last teens life I have before I become an adult. Eleh. I'm enjoying myself now, Alhamdulillah

My mum would always say "Kakak, beautiful is when you are happy". 

Yes, Umi you are always right :)